MYTHS ABOUT RACE

Myth#1: "Children don’t see race.” 
Research shows us that children do, in fact, see race. They are never “colorblind.” One study revealed that infants recognize racial differences between three and six months of age.

Dr. Phyllis Katz’s research (as cited in “See Baby Discriminate”) shows that by three years white children exhibit an overwhelming preference for same 'race' friends. By age five, 68% of children sort decks of cards of people’s faces by race over any other indicator. The infamous doll test originally performed by Kenneth and Mamie Clark and repeated most recently by CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360 shows that pre-k and kindergarten-aged children express racial biases that remain with them through adulthood. To be clear, the purpose of this research is not to figure out if  your child is a racist or not. The intention is to debunk the colorblind myth and frame an approach to interrupting these troubling patterns.

Instead of saying "we are all the same!", try making a connection with their observations by saying." race is one of the beautiful things that makes us different, but the color of our skin does not mean that someone is good or is bad, or nice or mean.

Myth #2: "Talking about race creates racist thinking"

Our country has a race problem that permeates our culture, that plagues our institutions and affects individuals. We know that children absorb these messages without our help.Not talking about race actually allows stereotypes and generalizations to go unchecked.

Instead of saying. "race isn't something we talk about". Try getting more information by saying, "That's a good comment. What makes you say that? This is something I am interested in talking about with you."

Myth #3: Exposure to diversity is enough"

Dr. Birgitte Vittrup performed a study with 100 families in Texas that found that mere exposure to peers of other races or reading multicultural books is not enough to counter the development of bias in children; they must be accompanied by conversations about race. These conversations about race should reflect an honest acknowledgement of systemic inequalities but seek to engage the child in enacting solutions.

Instead of saying, "we are all equal." try saying, "we are all equal here, but sometimes in the world people are treated differently based on the color of their skin. What are things we can do to make sure that does not happen in our home/school"?

Myth #4: " My child said something racist, therefore I must be a bad parent"

Racism is a powerful system that affects individuals and institutions. Children are steeped in this culture from birth, and it should come as no surprise when they ask a question or make a comment about race that gives us pause. One should lose the guilt, and seize the opportunity to have a deeper conversation that examines the source of the comment. This guilt may also prevent parents from seeking out support of peers who can bring expertise and insight to the situation.

Instead of saying, "My child said something so horrible I cant even repeat it," try saying, "I think my child is beginning to notice inequalities in society. She said, ____. Has your child/other children ever said anything like this? What did/do you do about it"?

Myth #5: " I don't have all the answers, so why talk about it?"

It's ok to say that you don't know what you don't know, but this is no reason, NOT to talk about race. It's fine to ask for more time to think before answering questions. Its ok to take conversations slowly and not be afraid to discover our own biases. Children are not colorblind and an explicit conversation about race is healthy and necessary for children.

Instead of saying nothing and avoiding the conversation, try saying, "That is something adults haven't even figured out. Let's learn about it together."